The final post

I've got my things I'm good to go.

You'll meet me at the terminal.

Just one more plane ride and it's done.

....with apologies to Jack's Mannequin, "Bruised"

And you know it's time to go,

Through the wind and driving dust

Across the fields of mourning

Light in the distance.

And you hunger for the time

Time to heal, desire, time

And your earth moves beneath

Your own dream landscape.

Oh don't sorrow, no, don't weep

For tonight, at last

I am coming home

I am coming home.

....with apologies to U2, "A sort of homecoming"

"We all went up to Gettysburg, the summer of '63: and some of us came back from there: and that's all except the details. " Captain Praxiteles Swan, Confederate States Army

“It is not within our power to forget or gloss over circumstances which we believe to be evil…They tear at us, buffet us, goad us, scorch us, stifle us — and you tell us to forget about them?” Cicero

"The disparity between what we are told or what we believe about war and war itself is so vast that those who come back, like Lefèvre, are often rendered speechless. What do you say to those who advocate war as an instrument to liberate the women of Afghanistan or bring democracy to Iraq? How do you tell them what war is like? How do you explain that the very proposition of war as an instrument of virtue is absurd? How do you cope with memories of children bleeding to death with bits of iron fragments peppered throughout their small bodies? How do you speak of war without tears? " From The Photographer by Emmanuel Guibert.

I've been gone from home for almost 10 months. 10 final thoughts.

1. I went to Kandahar in 2009-2010. I saw many horrible things. I saw many good things. I will never forget this place.

2. Simply put, this has been the most professionally rewarding experience of my life.

3. Simply put, I would gladly accept a less rewarding experience for just one less injured soldier or child.

4. Jonah: 1278 days old. Naomi: 2235 days old. Deployment: 284 days. I've been gone for 22% of Jonah's life and 13% of Naomi's life. I know many have done more. I hope I can make it up to Jonah and Naomi.

5. Most people here are more affected when someone from their own country is injured or killed. When a child is injured or killed, everybody hurts.

6. I've been through the move from our old tent/plywood hospital to a new brick and mortar building. I liked the old tent/plywood hospital. Better sense of community in it. It felt like being in a war zone.

7. To the families of the wounded: We did everything we could. You have the hard job ahead of you of helping your soldier heal. I wish you well.

8. To the families of the dead: We did everything we could. Your soldier received the best care possible. We treated them as we would our own son or daughter. I can't begin to imagine your pain. I am so sorry.

9. If you are reading this, the odds are that you are sitting at home in the States in the air conditioning. Perhaps your biggest concern today was that when the trash was picked up they spilled some debris on the ground and you have to go pick it up. We're better than this. Consider giving to the following organizations: www.homesforourtroops.org, www.uso.org, www.specialops.org, www.operationhomefront.net, www.fisherhouse.org.

10. I can envision getting off the plane and seeing Ruth, Naomi and Jonah. Chills go through my body as I think about it. I want to laugh, I want to cry, I want to hug them all at once. I want to be whole again.

Final surreal moment from this deployment:

I was in the operating room the other night working on a patient. The surgeons had done a herculean effort to save this young man who had been grievously injured by an IED. He was still bleeding and had a very tenuous grasp on life. I was doing my part with my wires and catheters stopping internal bleeding in his pelvis. His injuries were too severe and he died. At the exact same time, on the other side of the world, a team of surgeons had their hands and instruments inside the brain of my sister-in-law removing a malignant tumor. She has a rough road ahead of her. I don't think it is possible to pray enough.

So, there you have it. Thanks for reading. Thanks for the support that you've given me and more importantly, the support you've given Ruth, Naomi and Jonah. I am blessed.

"For peace in our hearts, for peace in our homes, for friends and family, for life and for love, for work and for play, let us pray to the Lord, let us pray to the Lord."